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The Age of the Bae and Faux Relationship

Last summer, Wale came out with a song that rocked my world: “Matrimony.” Ya’ll, it was my jam. The beat, the lyrics, everything about that song was on point. I know I watched the video about a hundred times in the first week that it was released. I was in love… The lyrics spoke to me. I had been in that same situation he was singing about a time or two, when I had to choose between my 80 or my 20 and it bought back all kinds of memories. I can remember waiting for my 80 to be ready for a relationship and see what he was missing out on, and just like the video, he showed up to let me know I was the one. But not before he just couldn’t realize what he had and I had to move on to something else.

When I think of oldies songs, I don’t remember Otis Redding singing about Instagram and Twitter followers or, as Wale sang it, “Staring at my comments, fearing it’s gon always be you sharing me with all them.” Which leads me to the harsh reality of us thirty-somethings who are either Generation Y’s or Millennials. Our generation has definitely changed the game when it comes to relationships – or the lack of. A lot of us are surely coupled up, but just chilling, kicking it, or the infamous we just friends. Love just isn’t what it used to be. Once upon a time a man thinking the world of his woman made him bring her flowers, bring her home to meet the family or even a ring. But nowadays a dude will post you on his social media page as his woman crush Wednesday, and that’s his way of professing his love or the fact that he’s “down for you.”

It’s become the new norm for someone to ask if you have a bae. Like, what the hell is a bae? It’s that typical Gen Y and Millennial B.S. Not only can we not be fully committed to a relationship, we can’t even fully commit to pronouncing the whole word “BABY.” (Sigh.) It’s so easy to get pulled into the whole faux relationship ordeal. ‘Cause one day y’all are dating and completely enjoying the vibe of one another, and you look up and it’s been four months, ya’ll are still vibing but there is literally no progression or talk of a future. I’m gonna be honest, for me it’s almost like working for no pay. Like, you getting my time, attention and affection. We acting like we something but really when it comes down to it there’s no title, and if someone asks him he’s not going to refer to you as his lady, but more along the lines of “my friend” or “this chick I’m seeing.”

Nooooo, every relationship should absolutely not turn into a long-term commitment. But if you’re feeling me, I’m feeling you, we see eye to eye, have the same goals and interests, and we connect on a deeper level, why not just give it a serious chance? Turn that bae into your baby and make it official. You never know what God has in store.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

~Kimberly Johnson~

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